Jessie was so much to so many. We have been so touched and our spirits so buoyed by the responses to her letter and reactions to her subsequent death. Hopefully by sharing these selections from the messages we’ve received, it will help each of you in our collective loss. If you would like to add your remembrances and photos to this page contact us!
“What wonderful eyes, and what a truly magnificent person – – The nobility of her letter says it all. So full of love and generosity. I adored your dear mama. She will indeed always be present in my heart and in my mind.” -Tony
“I call you for everything, big and small: to be my sounding board, my voice of reason… You have always been there to help me sort through the different things I may be going through, and you somehow have always made it better. All I had to do was call out your name, and you’d be there. You have always been my sure thing I can count on to get me through the darkest of times, to share the successes and the disappointments, and no matter what, you’d be there every step of the way.
You are so much more to me than my aunt, you are my rock, my role model, my mentor, the person I can tell anything to and never feel judged. Your love is encompassing, and I have felt it always, no matter where I am. Your presence is a gift…
I will remember that you are part of me, and the strength you have shown me my entire life is also inside me. When I am scared and feel lost and unsure of what to do I will think of you, what I would say to you and what you would say in return.
I will carry the memory of you with me for the rest of my life. It has been an incredible gift to have been so loved by you…You will forever be present in my heart, in our home, and will live on in our memories and the stories Alex and I will share with our children.
Thank you for being you. All my love.” -Rebecca
“Dearest Jessie, my dearest Jessila, I love you, I love you, I love you…forever and beyond!!! The tears stream down my face because I love you and want to hug you. You are the bravest, kindest person I know. You have made my life worth living so many times. There is not much more I can say, but I love you.
Our friendship and love ran so very deep and I can honestly say that I could not have made it through the last 30 years without you. I don’t say this lightly, but you were a gift from god for me.” -Deb
“If I had to describe Jessie in one word, it would be generous. She was generous with her love, kindness, wisdom, opinions and zest for life.
I cherished our visits that almost always included rugelach baking sessions which helped to keep my Bubbe’s memory alive.
Jessie and I stayed in touch with long phone calls. We would talk about my girls, her grandchildren, her continuing education or how she was organizing the labor at her senior living facility. Rarely would a call end without a mention of my father. Jessie loved him fiercely and was an emotional connection to him that I treasured.
I loved the relationship she formed with my daughters. She told me how special the friendship was between them and how much she loved having them in her life. The feeling was mutual. Her love will stay with them forever and we are all better people because of her.
While I can’t visit or call Jessie anymore, she will always be in my memories and sits on a throne in my heart.” -Matt
“Dear Bubbe,
I know you will not get this, but I just want to say that I loved you.
I loved writing emails to each other and talking about our day and other random things like what books or movies I watched recently. Every time I would get one of your e-mails it would bring a smile to my face and immediately make by day better. Every time we would talk you would make me laugh.
The last time I saw you, you said to me that I reminded you of me. That was the best compliment you could have given me. You inspire me every day and you truly have impacted me and made me a better person.
One of my favorite memories together is making rugalach with to you. The last time you came to visit us, we made rugalach and saved some of the dough. A few weeks ago, we used that dough and made rugalach in your honor. I am on the way to St. Louis to give Kate the last of it.
I feel like in the past few years our relationship has grown and we have truly connected. You are such a strong, intelligent, and generous person. I love you more than you know. Thank for all the memories, words of encouragement, and e-mails. I love you.” -Chloe
“I’m not sure if you’ll see this but I just wanted to message you again to tell you how much I love you.
When you came to visit us a few years ago at our old house, we hadn’t seen each other in years. I remember thinking back to my very first memory of you. We were in Grandpa Saul’s house and I was very young, maybe three years old, and we were sitting on the couch and you said to me “I think we’re going to like each other.” And we did.
Before you came for that visit, I remember being nervous because I really wanted you to still like me. As soon as you walked through our door and I felt the love and connection we have, and I wasn’t nervous anymore…
I love how whenever I would call you, you would answer and say “Hello?” And I would say “Hi Bubbe, it’s Kate!” And you would said “Hello Kate!” in a way that made it sound like you were so excited to talk to me, and it would immediately bring a smile to my face.
I couldn’t write about the things I love about you without mentioning how much I love making rugelach with you! I cherish the memories I have of laughing and baking with you over the years.
I feel so lucky to have had you in my life because you are one of the best people I have ever known and I don’t know how I got so fortunate to know you. You have been many things to me, including my role model, my confidante, my biggest cheerleader, and above all, my friend. You have truly been such a gift to me.
I am so sad that our time together is coming to a close, but (to steal a line from the literary masterpiece that is Twilight) no measure of time with you was ever going to be long enough; however I don’t define our relationship in terms of years, but rather in terms of love shared. The love you have shown me is something I will forever be grateful for.
You used to say that I had a ‘little Jessie’ that was always sitting on my shoulder watching over me. I feel that now more than ever, and I know that you will always be with me. I will always keep trying to make you proud because I am so proud to call you my Bubbe.
I love you forever.” -Kate
“Dearest, lovely Jessie, we love you so much and are so grateful for you in our lives…I admire so many things about you, but especially your incredible brain, professional and personal success, fabulous style, command of any room, confidence, and ability to become the immediate best friend of everyone you meet.
I have especially appreciated how you have created close, loving relationships with both of my kids and shown them all the love of a grandmother. They cherish you and your absolute and unconditional love. You make them feel so special and I will forever be grateful for that.
We hope that we can live lives as fruitful and as full of love, joy, and friendship as yours. You are part of us for eternity.” -Caroline
“Dear Jessie,
Mama Jessie,
The Incomparable Jessie,
The Irrepressible Jessie,
Liz shared with me your news yesterday, and now I have received your email message. I have never gotten a letter like that; my parents and I never even discussed their impending deaths. So in this, as in all things, you are unlike anyone I’ve ever known.
I fell in love with you the first time Liz had me over to the house in Georgetown–your open and larger-than-life spirit, your acceptance of everyone. I’ve never known anyone with such a positive outlook on life. And I learned so much from you about how to be a mom, both by your example and in the phone conversations we had at times when I was worried about Greta. Thank you for sharing with me your thoughts about parenting; they have helped to inform the kind of mother I am to Greta.
Knowing you and being in your orbit has had such an influence on my life. Just hearing your laugh in my mind makes me happy and hopeful. I am grateful that I was able to know and love you. Thank you for being you.
I will be there for Liz as she grieves.
You will always be on my heart. Love forever.” -Lise
“Jessie was a force of nature and a woman of action. She was an extraordinary individual full of love, courage, brilliance, perseverance, loyalty, honesty, bravery, good sense, and high moral standards. I loved her dearly and will miss her deeply. She was the sister I was grateful to have. ” -Bonnie Ulin
“Reading your letter makes it so clear that you, indeed, have had- and continue to have- a wonderful life, enriched by the love of your family, especially your two wonderful children and grandchildren, a life filled with interesting work, dynamic people, the security of a loving partnership, travel, good times… Truly, what all of us hope for. That you have deserved this and made the most of your opportunities is also clear.
I hope that in this chapter a life well lived sustains and cheers you, as you are surrounded by the presence of your dear ones and applauded by all whom you have touched. I am one of these, and you will remain for me a shining example of a wonderful woman who had a rich life and gave it her all. I was 5 years old as the flower girl at your wedding. Since I am now 75, I realize now that you were a blushing bride at only 19, so beautiful, so hopeful. Think of me with the basket dropping those flower petals and I shall think of you as that beautiful bride.” -Carolyn
“Jessie was a unicorn in all the best ways, and the world is poorer for her loss. And I think her life is like a stone dropped in deep water, making circles of ripples that will go on and on and on…” -Darla
“She was such an amazing woman, in her brilliance, her kindness and her loving ways.” -Sam
“Please accept my condolences, thinking of you and the pack today and always.” -Mirna
“Dear Jessie, Where to begin as I reflect on your presence in my life? Naturally, it starts with our heady work together at DOE, literally building parts of the clean energy transformation we see today. A whole letter could be devoted to the contributions and acumen you brought to bear there – too many examples to list. Another letter could be devoted to your unfailing personal support too – such as being a wise and no-BS sounding board on issues large and small, creator of vacation briefing books, seamstress of horrid pants, master-mind and host of that glorious Potomac cruise send-off. But my thoughts drift more to how your essence – as I perceive it anyway – has influenced me. For example, I think of:
• Your unwavering generosity of spirit. There aren’t many people in one’s life that you know you can count on 24/7, 365 days a year. Here’s my mental image: I ring your doorbell at 10 in the evening, out of the blue, and you usher me in and insist that I have a late dinner, a glass of wine, that I stay the night, a week, however long I want! Dave says that he always sensed an inviting aura around you and thinks it comes from being so fully at ease with yourself that you are fully present to others. Amen.
• Your full-throated zest for life. Whether it’s talking on the phone or sitting at your dining table, I am thrust into a space of intense energy and enthusiasm for life writ large. That gusto flows into every aspect of your life – family and friends, work, volunteerism, sense of style and panache, entertaining, writing. Dave calls you “a comet going through life.” Hard to beat that.
• Your unquenchable curiosity of the world around you. Our conversations always stimulate because of that appetite for knowledge and new ideas. You are an intellectual in the finest sense of the word. What’s more, you encourage curiosity in others too.
• Your kindling of a richer understanding of the Jewish culture and history. Perhaps that sounds odd to you, but I have learned so much through your stories of growing up in the Bronx, your father’s search for lost relatives, the Seders you designed, the family histories that you created for your nephews and shared with me when I visited in Scotts Valley. All quite precious and meaningful.
Dave and I re-read your Celebration of Saul’s Life and discovered something new: that beyond the lovely narrative, we saw YOU in many of your observations of him: “…being a sounding board…. fully engaged with brain, eyes and heart… a strength, spirit and generosity of soul (that) always will reside in me.” Yes, in so many ways, you are forever indefinably bonded with your brother. Such a legacy for your wonderful children, Liz and Josh. Such a legacy in my own life as well! And Dave’s. Thank you, dear Jessie.” Christine
“I cannot help but admire your mother’s loving spirit which is so abundantly and clearly evident in her email, as it has been all throughout her life.
I am reminded of all the times since I first washed ashore on 32nd street in 1978 or 1979 when your mother threw her arms around me and gave me a big hug. Her email feels a lot like that. It is a thing of beauty, and it is unbearably sad. But it is a gift, and one for which I am grateful. ” -Chris
“My Dearest Jessie, For a moment, my heart was extremely heavy, until I reflected on the thought, this is not the way you want me to be at this hour. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to stand in your shadow and bask in the rays of your warmth and sunshine. You taught me so many things that I still carry with me til this time and shall for the balance of my days. You gave me a place to lay my head when I had none. You convinced me to return to Israel after I had given up on the possibility. For these wonders, I am eternally grateful to you. I do love me some Jessie, and I probably always will. After all, is said and done, I will continue to follow you into the light. I love you Jessie, more than you’ll ever know.” -Len
“She was such a warm and loving presence for all of us, not to mention bright, effusive, vibrant, and inclusive.
My thoughts are with you,
Love,
Polly
“Dear, dear Jessie,
Well, if ever there were an assignment I’d like to maneuver an Incomplete in — to be finished, read, and graded later—it’s this one. Obviously, I’ve already procrastinated a few days.
Jessie, when I told Mom what you’re planning—I imagine, what you’re doing, right now—her heart certainly went out to you, Josh, and Liz. She’s actually been rather quiet for the last few days, since I told her. She wants me to send you an “eternal hug” from her, and let you know that she’s thinking good, loving thoughts of you. That said, she also always—and especially these days—has seemed a bit tougher, more matter-of-fact about all this than I am. Maybe it comes with age. I don’t know.
Though we haven’t discussed it much, I imagine she doesn’t understand your decision. I think I understand it a bit more. I’m just pretty sure I wouldn’t be brave enough to see it through for myself. I and my mother come from a long line of “get that ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ order out of this hospital room!” Jews. I’m sure my mother wants every artificial means available to keep her a burden to her loved ones as long as possible. As do I.
After my father passed away, this poem that gave me the most comfort—the most escape, maybe, though even that wasn’t much—was sent to me by a dear friend’s son, whom I also consider a friend. I’ve read that the poem is actually pretty common fare at memorials and funerals: “Death is Nothing at All.” I hope you appreciate it, Jessie. I think you will. And Josh and Liz, as well.
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,somewhere very near,just round the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
And, Jessie, I suspect I’ll be reading it often again, with you in my heart.
I want you to know that, like my mother, I’m thinking good—wonderful!—loving thoughts of you, too. But, like I said, if I thought there were any way I could convince you to let me have an incomplete in this and come back to finish it next September, oh, I’d take it.
Love you, Jessie—always and always, xoxoxo “-Seth
“My condolences go out to you and all your family.
Losing our Mommy is the hardest pain there is.
This amazing woman who gave life to you.
The person that gave you unconditional love.
I remember her very well.
She was educated, she presented herself with her smile that lit up the room.
Such a Happy Happy Mom,
And you can tell that she is your Mommy.
What great footsteps to follow.
You all take care of each other
Just close your eyes and you can see her smile at you.” -Helen
“Your mom was a great woman to me who will always be in my heart and I will remember her as she was always.” -Tania
“Your mom will always be in our prayers and hearts. We love all of you. My best wishes.” -Moy
You have a wonderful family. You’re lucky. It’s so important. -Marian
“Jessie’s memory will be a blessing for all who knew her.” -Howard and Suki
I feel very lucky to have known your mom and especially to have seen her in November. Much love to you all. -Ian
“She was one of the most beautiful people ever in my life …
We all will remember her forever.
She loved to read, to listen and debate.
What a treasure, what a remarkable friend.
Jessie with a word, Jessie with a quip so perfect,
We all would just listen and marvel.
Her strength, her love, her dedication to family
What a treasure was our Jessie
If we can love someone forever yet only know them a tiny part of their life
I truly will always love Jessie
We will always think of you
And talk to you during a Jessie moment.” -Steve
“She was such a smart, brave, inspiring woman living life on her terms.” Denise
“I will treasure your Mom’s last email to those she loved forever!” -Susan
“We are so very grateful to have had your truly spectacular mom in our lives. She’ll live on in all our hearts.” -Dan and Kelli
“Dearest Jessie:
Love you so much. Tears of joy and many cherished memories of you here dear neighbor on Recreation Lane. I miss your warm big consoling hugs, your helpful advice and laughter. Jessie you’re forever in my heart. Love you always.” -Nancy
Jessie,
Oh my, I wish I could reach you across the whole of the United States and give you a big physically-present hug. Since I can’t do that (at least not quickly), I want you to know what I think of when I think of YOU.
I think of warmth, of love, of acceptance, (of your 80th birthday!!) and of wisdom brought about by living all of your life, on your terms. I am so very grateful to have met you and Jerry, to become part of your extended family.
You inspired me – to say yes when asked if I would consider being a Biden appointee. I remembered you were an appointee in the Clinton Administration – and after everything that happened in the Trump administration, I wanted to be a part of the change President Biden would bring to federal service.
I went through the whole thing…the dreaded WH vetting (which I thought should have been prefaced with ‘bless me father for I have sinned”); the Senate confirmation hearing, and finally appointment by the President. I’m proud to serve in this new capacity – and I do so because you inspired me.
Please know that Brian and I will be with you in spirit. -Kathy
“Jessie was truly an exemplary person and led a life that is to be truly admired.” -Jaedra
“Jessie had a great life. She had so much love to give and was deeply loved by you two, the family and many others.” -Ying
“I’m speechless as I try to send you my thoughts, I can only say I’m in awe of an awesome soul! So very sorry for the loss of a rare and lovely lady!” -Cameron
“She was my second grandma, one who I actually got to know and love and who loved me and was such a badass.” -Greta
“What a joy it has been to hear your voice so frequently on the other line when in Rebecca’s company. Your sense of humor has always been a reminder to not take life too seriously, to live boldly, unapologetically, with style and a good laugh.
Knowing you means I get to know where some of Rebecca’s passion, perseverance, and generosity comes from. I’ll never forget how willing you were to give me a home when I was almost going to move to Washington D.C. The way that you believe in people and encourage their best will be something I carry with me.
Your presence is such a gift, and I’m so thankful to know you. I will think of you so fondly and with great admiration for all that you have done and how much you have shared. ” -Emily